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X Jobi
Known to some as Admiral Awesome, he co-founded Osamaz Crew along with Commander Bin Laden. Early History X Jobi lived a hard childhood, his mum practically kicked his ass out of the house before he even hit 13, and he never even met his dad. His only friend til he was 10 was the faggot prick next door who was always beating the shit outta him and telling him he wasn't worth shit. It's not like he even had a choice, the town had like 9 fuckig people living in it, I shit you not. His entire adolescence was just moving around from place to place trying to get along with people who didn't even want him. You think thats the worst? His only friend was an Asian guy in his thirties or something, who only kept him around because Jobi could help him get laid. The only perk was that he also got to hang around with this cute ginger chick, she was flat as a pancake sure, but damn she was a total nymph. She must have been a sadist or something cause she always took pleasure in hitting him and telling him how she loved to get wet. But dear god the bane of Jobi's existence was this adult couple that he could NOT seem to avoid. You know those types of couples that are absolutely sickening, like they wear matching outfits and finish each other's sentences? Yeah they were fucking creepers, and they had a cat, which was at least twice as annoying as they were, I swear this thing would never shut the fuck up. Like I said, Jobi ended up moving from town to town getting in fights with other kids his age, even adults from time to time. The only thing that kept him going was his dream to become a pokemon master. Later Life After he was fed up with his unrealistic dream, X Jobi served as a Polish soldier during the Polish-Soviet War and there he met Rogue Ninja. Both were soldiers stationed in Minsk on the side of the Polish. Admiral Awesome was caught inside a building when it was struck by Red Army Artillery. Officail Reports state that no-one survived, but one did... An artillery shell had blown though his right thigh and it had left a clean hole where it went through. Defying modern medicine there was no blood. However the pain was excruciating enough to keep him paralysed. Commaner Bin Laden found him pressed under 2 storeys worth of rubble. He dragged the Admiral to a nearby wrecked house and nursed him back to full health. As to how he healed a man with a 10cm wide hole in his leg with nothing but a needle and a bar of soap is still a mystery... POW For a brief moment in Jobi's long and illustrated career he was taken captive by his enemies in the gulf war. For days Jobi was deprived of basic human needs yet he held the hope he would survive. On the seventh day this came true when Rogue came to save Jobi alone. Rogue killed many Iraqi troops using nothing but a cheese wire and an implemented explosive device bearing similar characteristics to a box of tissues. Casualties of this skirmish: Iraq - 247 Rogue Soldiers - 0 His love affair with Ghekz X Jobi fell so head-over heels with another member of the crew, known only by Ghekz, whom callously and uncaringly threw X Jobi's love away. X Jobi continued to express his love to Ghekz, through the improper use of You're and Your. This lighten Ghekz's mood on occassion and convinced him to sleep with X Jobi, although, unfortunately for X Jobi, no sexual activity between them was ever recorded. Formation of the Crew X Jobi swore a life debt to Rogue Ninja for all his help and continued to serve him until his death. He went with Commander Bin Laden to Sierra Leone where they used guerrilla warfare tactics to aid the locals against their violent oppressors. They then moved east to the island of Madagascar. BTW HE'S CAPTAIN DOGGA'S BITCH AND GIVES HIM BLOWJOBS WHENEVER HE DEMANDS THEM. but it's a totally heterosexual kind of relationship...